protection December 16, 2017
please pray that without having to expend energy or shift in attention I will not give in to the perceived will of others. often I am weakened by my own need and desires and poor circumstances and poor mental ability and there are those in my family in particular that hold to beliefs and practices in life that they impose on me and I feel i cannot resist them. I have no ally in this and against others outside my family. May the Lord help me that I may no longer be forced or strongly influenced to desire to do what others will or this society determines about matters and tasks they keep trying to assign me. Please pray for protection in particular from my father and mother and siblings and relatives for they control me because I am afraid of losing their care for me if I do not do what they want. And so they force me to do things and serve in roles I do not want to do. I see that this is a dark thing that resides in the strong because they want to believe that what I hope for cannot be possible with God. It is an atheistic spirit I am fighting in my family…it is why they force me to do these things instead of doing them themselves. They think money and other games determine who plays what role in life. And they using their oppressive wills tell everyone what games matter so that they are always on top. It’s a scam. I feel unable to oppose and I know this is why people feel raped…sexually at times but in a relational sense…they are mentally manipulated into feeling they must do as they are told or else lose something vital to them. Please pray that those in my family will stop doing this. They are thinking they are better than me and have a right to do this. They make up stories to rationalize and say it is what I want to do, but I don’t. They lie and they force me. I know if they don’t correct this at this low level of chores and other things..they will do much worse things and I’m sure they already do because none of the women they work with at work and other men who need grace are treated with respect. They eliminate those better than them so they can be in charge, but they are not good. My father lies to me. He knows that he did not help my mother do well in her career as he refused to do anything at home. he does not lift a finger to help and will only do so if he is too old..but by then it matters not to me if he changes as that is not real change. He sits there and I can tell he is doing something that is not right. He thinks along with my brother that this is smart so he can avoid being made to help but it is not smart. I know what he is doing and because he does this I know he does not care for me. Please pray that I can discuss this with my father …he is very good at making it hard to make him do anything. But he is the reason my world is the way it is and why I cannot work. Please pray for a miracle. Of course we cannot force people to change…but if we want to be a family then my father and brother and mother need to know that this cannot continue or else I cannot be with them any longer for they force me to be something I do not want to be. Please pray that they will change their minds so we can stay a family. They make it so that I have no choice but to leave them forever because they use their intelligence and avoidance skills to put me off and continue to force me through indirect means. We cannot relate because they will not give this up. Please pray that God will change these things and I will not have to think about it. The problem is the world goes along with them on this and they will not listen to me.