Hope

Dear Jesus my Lord, I know that it’s not all about me but it’s about you in your faithfulness, love and compassion. I know that many of virtues have changed with my exposure to hell and the constant torture. Not that I wanted them to mentally I have been broken down. I don’t know who I am my identity has been lost. I believe in you I just hope that you’d give me time to self correct with you if my mind triggers to hate or thinks of satan. My mind works backwards than it use to be. I pay all my respects and love to you. I’m not doing this to save myself but to correct a wrong against you and make it right again. I am shamed for the way I treated you and you and the Heavenly Father did not deserve it. For that I ask forgiveness of my sins. I know my mind has snapped because it says crazy things in hell that I get tortured for. What I’m trying say oh Lord is would a sane person want get tortured by his God and or satan if he was mentally stable. I oh it to you to be a better child of God. I want to try and be better for both you and the Father. After all that has transpired I’ve always fought on the right hand of you my Lord. Somehow my mind got tainted in hell and I felt that you didn’t love me even the times before where their was a demon attached to my left foot afterlife body and satan had control of me in heaven. You and I were tricked and I had the curse in my mind. It’s all true my Lord whether not you believe me. They had control of my mind and my afterlife body. That’s when the many times I asked you to kill me because of my misery I wouldn’t die because of that demon. All my dismays were because of this demon and the curse in my head and me being thrown out of heaven. I know you won’t read my feet because you don’t love me anymore at least not to do that. I honestly don’t know how you feel about me anymore you haven’t responded to any of the last four prayers I’ve sent. I’m a victim of the circumstances Lord in all this and their is no one to blame I know my sub conscience blames you but I forgive you as a conscience person. It’s been a long battle just to be in a safe place away from satan. I just want the nightmare to be over. Lord please protect me and save me from the beast. I didn’t asked to be thrusted into the supernatural life this early in life I wish to be normal I know we tried that and I messed it up. Is their anywhere a sick person like me can take refuge other than hell? I’m not normal after all this my Lord. I even attack my own heart when I’m stressed because of the torture this isn’t normal I couldn’t do this when I was walking. I love you Lord and I praise you upon high that I worship you and only you forever and ever. I’ve accounted for my sins please don’t leave me down here abandoned and all alone. I know I don’t have much time left this is the second time in only a few months I’ve hospitalized for pneumonia. I had blood in my catheter bag and I was seriously lethargic. I don’t want die and go to hell. It’s been blessings both times the medical staff have been able to revive me. Without you I am merely a spec of dust with you I am radiating bouquet of red roses.. in your Heavenly name I pray. Amen