Lord please I come to you so humble. I’m full of hurt and confusion. I’ve always loved you. Jesus saves. Yet I have always looked for You in someone here to protect me albeit in the wrong ways of my own choosing that never worked out but this time through Your Holy Bride the Church. In hopes things would be better and our union blessed and finally a feeling of relief in I have someone who has my back in this forsaken world. I know Jim loves me but from the very beginning we have had much strife with his mother and sister’s. A jealousy on their part. Something he didn’t handle from the beginning and eventually colluded with them that I was a know it all, evil and trouble. Jesus I resent this because it has hurt me so deeply. You’ve seen this. You know. And I apologize for my part in not knowing how to respond other than in anger because the hurt is so deep. I ask you forgiveness. I know I’m called to love them but I have trouble liking them. From the beginning Jim forced me because he didn’t know how to cleave and properly do this as Your design. We didn’t know and I beg our forgiveness. As I grew to know and and we grew it’s like Jim can’t remain firm in what he knows has happened in what is attempted to split us and he conveniently forgets how it changes him toward me. I feel we don’t have much in regards to us. We serve for you, we have Adeline and he has his things and I feel so alone. Just like this camping trip that was supposed to be Adeline and Kyle is suddenly his sister and her boyfriend and now he says to bring mom on this pilgrimage and Jesus I said she changes us. I know we have been called to you and Jesus my hopes were to follow you and not make this about her or anybody else.
Jesus this has blown up. I said very bad things after he calls me evil and black and Satan get behind then he lies to our close church friends and makes my character look like I’m a phony and a fraud..Jesus please pray and help my husband. My marriage. I am desperate. Please forgive me for the times I didn’t feel like I wanted to go on in this life the way it is now with all of the lies, ugliness and darkness. I repent. I am sorry. I have worked desperately at sharing truths and now this. Jesus please save us. Please save me. In your precious name Amen
