Dear God
pls help to be enlightened now. After 10 years my spiritual fathers say I reach not what I could have and the man who wanted to pray for our marriage doesn’t want to me marry me still.
Jesus please help? Can you make your holy will that he shall marry me now or we have a baby or both? That he start a martial arts school this summer and become a lay practitioner of white sangha and stop being monk.
Help me Lord, please don’t ask me more patience or to.m give up. Can you give me this finally at last now?
If you want it can’t go wrong. If I want it it can’t happen. If you want it with your Holy will Jesus he can change and be open for me now. Please Jesus deny not my petition please grant what I wish by your merciful love. Don’t let me fall into despair and fall into just divine justice I shall never pass this. I am not so holy and not a great saint or practicioner, and I am so sorry I put most my efforts into praying for marrying him and at the same time I tried to put you and loving you first. I worry I failed and sure did because I achieved nothing. And I am sorry please I ask for your mercy and forgiveness. Please forgive me and help me please.